WEDDING GUIDELINES Your wedding is a sacred occasion. It is "instituted by God, regulated by His commandments, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, and is to be held in honor among all people." It will be most meaningful to you, your families and friends when careful concern is given for the sanctity of the church and its services, as well as the dignity and beauty of the Christian marriage. The church is not an appropriate place for the marriage of persons who have no intentions of following a Christian lifestyle or being active in the life of a church. This booklet has been prepared to aid you in planning your wedding.The service of Christian marriage is a service of worship and faith. The church wedding is a public worship service open to the fellowship, in which praise and adoration of God is celebrated, and during which a man and a woman affirm their love for each other and for God, in whose name their marriage is solemnized.SETTING THE TIME OF THE WEDDINGCareful planning is essential to insure that your wedding is a meaningful and beautiful experience. Before setting the date, consultation with the minister is necessary. The date of your wedding and rehearsal must also be cleared on the church calendar. This should be done through the church secretary. In case of a Saturday evening wedding, the church should be vacated by 9:00 pm in order that it may be cleaned for Sunday's services. Please cooperate with the church in every way to have the calendar arranged efficiently and well in advance.COUNSELINGBy the act of a couple coming to the church to be married, the couple has placed themselves under the pastoral care of the minister who will have some suggestions for a successful marriage. The pastor requires each couple preparing for marriage to participate in a minimum of three counseling sessions. These should be scheduled at least a month in advance.THE SERVICEThe minister appointed to serve Cross Roads United Methodist Church shall be responsible for all services held at the church. A family desiring another minister to be a part of the service may, after consultation with the minister of the Cross Roads, request the other minister's assistance with the wedding.The minister of Cross Roads United Methodist Church will assist the bride and groom in planning and directing the wedding. If printed bulletins for the service are desired, the bride will be responsible for purchasing and having them printed. However, the order and content of the bulletin must be approved by the minister. It is urged that no child under five (5) years of age be a part of the wedding party. Focus during the ceremony should be upon the bride and groom.The use of rice is prohibited after the wedding. If desired, bird seed may be used, but only outside the building.THE RECEPTION (Refers to all receptions)The Fellowship Hall is available for receptions. Arrangements for all receptions must be made with the church secretary and questions about the use of kitchen dishes, linens and equipment are answered in the fee schedule below.President, United Methodist Women - Sue Nichols 523-2451
WEDDING DECORATIONS The sanctuary is a beautiful setting, quite appropriate for weddings. Therefore, decorations should be kept to a minimum. It is the responsibility of the bride to arrange for flowers or other decorations.It should be noted that Cross Roads United Methodist Church does not have its own aisle runner. Therefore, if an aisle runner is desired for the bride, it will need to be rented elsewhere.The bride is responsible for furnishing the candles. They should be dripless! Arrangements should be made for the prompt removal of borrowed or rented articles after the wedding. While every reasonable effort is made to insure their safety, the church cannot be responsible in this regard.The person responsible for decorating should remove all of their equipment and flowers from the church the same day as the wedding. THE GATHERING The capacity of the sanctuary is 150 persons. Keep this in mind when preparing your invitations.Prior to the service, the bride and her attendants should gather in the parlor. The groom and best man should meet in the 3rd floor youth room. The ushers and the father of the bride will be instructed where to report.THE REHEARSALAll members of the wedding party, including parents of the bride and groom, are requested to be present. The rehearsal should not be held more than two days prior to the wedding. At the designated time for the rehearsal, the wedding party should meet in the front of the sanctuary. Promptness is very helpful. The organist shall be present to rehearse the music for the processional and recessional with the wedding party.Should you desire the minister, organist, wedding consultant, and their spouses to attend a rehearsal dinner, these persons should be issued a formal invitation prior to the rehearsal.THE ACCOMPANISTIt is recommended that the Organist/Pianist of Cross Roads United Methodist Church shall be used for all wedding services performed at the church. However, if for any reason the organist/pianist is not available for the service, he or she and the minister will work with the couple to find a competent substitute.The Minister of Music must be contacted by the bride and commitment secured by her personally. The fee for this service is set by the Minister of Music and is dependent upon the predicted amount of time involved. When the Minister of Music is contacted, the fee should be discussed and clearly understood before a commitment is secured. If organ music is desired, contact must be made two months prior to the wedding to discuss the music to be used. If piano music is desired, contact must be made at least two weeks prior to the wedding. It is the responsibility of the couple to clear the final date with the Minister of Music.Minister of Music - Annabel Dayhoff (697-4836)THE MUSICBecause of the significance of the wedding service, the music used as a part of it should serve as an aid to Christian worship, and should be fitting (sacred) for use in a worship service, as distinguished from a social gathering. Although the event of a wedding carries as one of its distinguished characteristics the spirit of joyful social contacts and exuberant feelings, the ceremony itself should be recognized as the moment of highest meaning and significance in all the activities, and should be approached with dignity and reverence as well as joy.In order for the couple planning their wedding service to have the best possible music for their wedding, they must seek the judgment of the organist and rely on his/her training and experience. Much of the music which casual usage has associated with weddings is, by the very nature of its character, inappropriate for such a service, especially the currently popular "hits." Therefore, these types of musical selections are not suitable for a service of Christian marriage."Background music" played during the ceremony is entirely out of place. Music at this time is an intrusion which can only serve to weaken the clean, solemn words by giving them a mood of sentimentality and vagueness.It is entirely possible that a fine hymn of praise may be sung by the congregation during the service.MUSIC BEFORE THE CEREMONYThere are so many works suitable for use before the ceremony that it is impossible to make a truly comprehensive and exhaustive listing here. The important thing the organist keeps in mind in selecting pre-service music is creating an attitude of reverence, while choosing enough pieces of some brilliance to meet the need for variety and balance. The period of music before the ceremony usually lasts from 15 to 20 minutes, and this would normally allow time for five to eight individual works.Because the actual selection will depend on the organist's current repertory, and on the scope of the instrument to be played, final decisions are usually left with him/her. The organist will be glad to receive suggestions for music to be used, and will decide whether these are feasible for use.PROCESSIONALS AND RECESSIONALSMuch brilliant and stately music exists which is suitable for use as music for a wedding procession. This type of music need not be in march tempo; it is enough that it have a feeling of movement and a mood of dignity and joy. Current popular hits are especially inappropriate.Music for the recessional should answer to the same qualifications as that for the processional.INSTRUMENTALISTSThe use of instruments such as the violin, guitar, flute or oboe can be effective if properly employed. Brass instruments are especially effective in creating a particularly festive note to the service. Use of such instruments in groups, or individually in combination with the organ, can be effective vehicles for reflecting the varying moods of the service.VOCAL SOLOS AND DUETSThe need for good taste in planning the wedding music is nowhere greater than in the choice of vocal music, if it is used in the service. Love songs, show tunes, and popular music are much better used at the reception than during the service. Since appropriate and beautiful music exists which is capable of correctly expressing the true meaning of what is happening in the wedding service and what is symbolized there, there is no problem with finding suitable material. The words of all vocal music under consideration should be discussed with the Minister and Accompanist. Suggestions for additional suitable and appropriate literature for choral ensembles and solo voice are available from the organist. Any use of instrumentalists and/or vocalists must be discussed with the organist and minister, and it is the responsibility of the couple to procure and compensate them.PHOTOGRAPHSThe photographer is engaged by the bride if she would like pictures to be made. It is the responsibility of the bride to instruct the photographer that no flash pictures are permitted in the sanctuary after the processional.A discretely placed video camera is allowed during the service. It is to be placed at the back of the sanctuary.It is helpful to have a list prepared beforehand of the pictures desired in order to save time and not keep the congregation waiting too long for the reception.If pictures are to be taken before the ceremony, it should be completed at least one hour before the wedding. All members of the wedding party and others involved would need to be notified of this schedule.PARKINGDue to limited parking space at Cross Roads, we suggest that people, especially the wedding party, should try to car pool and use additional parking at Geneva Kent Elementary School.THE CUSTODIANThe custodian has to give extra time to cleaning and setting up before and after the wedding. We ask that careful consideration be given to this matter by the wedding party. The custodian's fee is listed in the "fee schedule" in this book.Custodian - Betty Holley (522-7434) - workAlcoholic beverages and smoking are not permitted on the church premises.All fees for the Sanctuary and/or Fellowship Hall must be paid at the church office at the time reservations are made. Payable to: Cross Roads UMC. (Payment confirms your reservation). All other fees must be paid one week prior to the wedding date, at the church office. Make checks payable to the individuals or groups who are providing the services. The secretary will hold and deliver these checks after the wedding.NEW FEE SCHEDULE FOR WEDDINGS(Also refers to all other receptions)(Church members)
1. USE OF CHURCH
A. Sanctuary $00.00
B. Fellowship Hall $00.00(Receptions, Dinners, Showers)
C. Kitchen $50.00Use of crystal glassware, silverware, serving equipment,dishwasher, table skirts, and table cloths whichmust be laundered by the wedding party
2. ACCOMPANIST (Annabel Dayhoff) $100.00
3. CUSTODIAN SERVICE (Betty Holley)A. Sanctuary cleaning before and after wedding $70.00includes cleaning parlor, hallways, bathrooms,sanctuary and outside front entrance. B. Fellowship Hall cleaning before and after $80.00reception includes tables, floor, hallways, bathrooms,and kitchen floor. Does not include cleaning kitchenequipment, glassware, silver or utensils. C. Both Sanctuary & Fellowship Hall $150.00
4. BABYSITTING SERVICE (30 minutes before & 30 minutes $25.00after wedding ceremony, but not for reception)
5. MINISTER'S FEE (Rev. David Cartwright) $00.00This is for planning, counseling,rehearsal, and wedding.
6. SOUND ROOM TECHNICIAN Required for soloists who $70.00 for two hoursare using taped accompaniment. ($10.00 each additional hour)(Gary Gendron)NEW FEE SCHEDULE FOR WEDDINGS(Also refers to all other receptions)(Non-Church members)
7. USE OF CHURCHA. Sanctuary $50.00B. Fellowship Hall $50.00(Receptions, Dinners, Showers)C. Kitchen $100.00Use of crystal glassware, silverware, serving equipment,dishwasher, table skirts, and table cloths which mustbe laundered by the wedding party 8. ACCOMPANIST (Annabel Dayhoff) $100.00
9. CUSTODIAN SERVICE (Betty Holley)A. Sanctuary Cleaning before and after wedding $70.00includes cleaning parlor, hallways, bathrooms,sanctuary and outside front entranceB. Fellowship Hall cleaning before and after $80.00reception includes tables, floor, hallways, bathrooms,and kitchen floor. Does not include cleaning kitchenequipment, glassware, silver or utensils. C. Both Sanctuary & Fellowship Hall $150.00
10. BABYSITTING SERVICE (30 minutes before & 30 minutes $25.00after wedding ceremony, but not for reception)
11. MINISTER'S FEE (Rev. David Cartwright) $100.00 This is for planning, counseling,rehearsal and wedding.
12. SOUND ROOM TECHNICIAN Required for soloists who $100.00 for two hoursare using taped accompaniment. ($10.00 each additional hour)(Gary Gendron)
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